I'm a very active person and tend to like my lessons learned hard, through injury and recovery, through speeding tickets, through eyes burned red from jalapeno pepper oil. I'm also realizing more and more that this might not be the easiest path to self actualization and realized dreams.
But in meditation, I find these lessons through healing. This morning, I am reminded of the universal truth that everything is not good or bad, it's simply wonderful in its vacillating state. There's no need to try to create an outcome and clinging to that outcome only serves to perpetuate suffering in myself and others. But by sitting and simply observing, relaxing all necessity and just enjoying the experience inside this body, the unfolding of events can be witnessed, enjoyed even, without judgement, condemnation.
I had this experience before, when learning this meditation technique, Vipassana. There was a feeling of being wrapped in the nurturing warmth of a compassionate parent. There was memory of strong hurts, ages old, perhaps centuries old being eased. There were no tears but just the sweetness of relief that comes after hours of crying.
I'm reminded that the conscious brain, our sensory motor cortices are inhibitory centers. With Hanna Somatics, we use a voluntary motor action to bring up a conscious sensation. With that conscious sensation, involuntary muscular contraction can be eased. Years of built up tension starts to soften.
In my intentional sitting, I feel that inhibitory action. I feel my involuntary compulsions/clinging start to relax. I feel everything and whatever I feel eases. I feel deeper than muscular levels, into the culture, the history and the future. As consciousness expands, the clouds of discomfort, the sludge of personal slights/global injustice and aggression to ourselves and our planet wash away as if from a late afternoon thundershower and reveal underneath the compulsive regenerating force that is always present and patiently awaits inevitable changes of life.
And I'm temporarily calm, and beautiful and loving of the mission and it's hipsters, its homeless, its trendy bars, dingy taquerias, and frenetic youth.
Perhaps the mission, the universe, you are temporarily loving of me too. Or perhaps that love is there continuously and I just have to keep sitting.
